Getting to know someone new is always fun and exciting. Especially when you’re dating a lesbian!
At first, the nuances and differences in gender might seem confusing or alienating. But, over time, you’ll come to understand the enormous creativity and freedom of lesbian and queer culture. The possibilities are endless!
1. Don’t be afraid to ask out
If you’re like most women, you probably lust after every lesbian you meet as though she were Megan Fox. While this is perfectly normal, it’s important to remember that not everyone who triggers your gaydar will be interested in dating you.
You can often gauge a woman’s interest level by her body language and how she talks to you. But if you want more than just friendly conversation, be sure to make it clear that you’re interested in her romantically.
You can also ask her out using a direct statement, such as “I’d love to hang out with you” or “want to go out for dinner?” However, if she explicitly states that she is not looking for a relationship, be respectful of her wishes.
3. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Vulnerability can be scary and it’s hard to do in a culture that often misconstrues it for weakness. However, vulnerability is a powerful thing that leads to some of the most beautiful relationships out there. It shows that you are emotionally available and that you care. It also allows your date to see that you are an imperfect human, just like them.
Being vulnerable is what allows us to really connect with each other and build a genuine bond. Ultimately, it is what makes the relationship sexy and special. It also proves that you are a bold and confident motherfucker who doesn’t give a fuck about what other people think of you, which is so sexy! Healthy vulnerability looks and feels different at every stage of dating.
4. Don’t be afraid to be creative
When planning a lesbian date, it can be really fun to think creatively. For example, if you live in a city, try going on an art-themed walking tour together. This will give you something to talk about and will keep you entertained if the conversation isn’t flowing naturally.
Julie R. Enszer is a writer, poet and editor. Her work has been published in Southern Cultures, WSQ and a variety of other journals. She is editor of Sinister Wisdom 111: Golden Mermaids, a collection of lesbian writing and art.
5. Don’t be afraid to be honest
Sometimes it’s hard to be honest with your loved ones. But honesty is always important, especially when it comes to your sexuality. If you’re feeling unsure of your sexual identity, don’t be afraid to talk with a therapist or reach out to HER, our queer safe space!
If you’re having a first date with someone, try doing something fun together like going on an art-themed walking tour. It’s a great way to get to know each other better, and it gives you something to talk about if conversation isn’t flowing naturally! Make sure to bring a disposable or Polaroid camera for some added fun.
